| CRYPTO - SAFARIS |
| YOU ARE WONDERING- WHAT THE HELL IS A CRYPTO-SAFARI? |
CRYPTOZOOLOGY IS THE STUDY AND PURSUIT OF SPECIES THAT ARE REPORTED TO EXIST, BUT HAVE YET TO BE TRADITIONALLY CLASSIFIED BY MODERN SCIENCE MANY OF THESE CREATURES ARE THE SPAWN OF FOLKLORE OR PRODUCTS OF OVER-ACTIVE IMAGINATIONS AND TALES PASSED DOWN THROUGH THE GENERATIONS SOME ARE THE STUFF OF LEGEND AND SUPERSTITION SOMETIMES IT'S SIMPLY A BEAT-UP RACCOON THAT LOOKS LIKE THE CHUPACABRA, OR AN ESCAPED KANGAROO THAT LOOKS LIKE THE DEVIL AND SOMETIMES IT'S NOT IT'S THIS LAST CATEGORY OF CREATURE THAT WE PURSUE. OUR TEAMS VENTURE FAR INTO REGIONS UNEXPLORED. BY HORSEBACK, ATV, OR ON FOOT WE PUSH LIMITS. WE HUNT. WE WILL BRING ONE BACK |
| OUR LATEST SAFARI SIGHTING: REPORTS OF A LARGE BLACK BIPEDAL CREATURE AREA: CENTRAL FLORIDA. OCALA FOREST DATE: MAY 2008 OUR FINDINGS *** IMPORTANT UPDATE! SEE BELOW!! FOLLOWING SOME FRESH DATA, WE SENT A CRYPTO TEAM TO THE OCALA NATIONAL FOREST TO GATHER DATA ON REPORTS THAT THERE IS A LARGE BLACK "BIGFOOT" LIKE CREATURE LIVING IN THE FOREST. GHOSTPROS IS VERY SUSPICIOUS OF CLAIMS LIKE THIS , AS MOST ALL ARE HYPED AND BLOWN WAY OUT OF PROPORTION. iN FACT, WE'RE FINDING THAT MORE AND MORE, THESE REPORTS ARE MORE HYPE THAN ANYTHING ELSE. WHICH IS NO SURPRISE TO US. SO, ARE WE SKEPTICS? OF COURSE WE ARE. WE'RE UNDERSTANDABLY RELUCTANT TO BELIEVE ANY STORIES THAT WE DON'T HAVE HARD EVIDENCE TO BACK UP. SO, WHY DID WE GO TO THE WOODS TO CHECK THIS ONE OUT? BECAUSE WE HAD SOME INTERESTING EXPERIENCES THE LAST TIME WE WERE THERE. SIGHTINGS THAT WE COULDN'T EXPLAIN. THE TEAM ARRIVED IN THE DEEP WOODS AT AROUND NOON AND ESTABLISHED A DRY BASE CAMP. FIRES ARE PROHIBITED, AND IT WAS TO BE A DARK MOONLESS NIGHT. OUR PLAN WAS TO EAT EARLY, AND MAN OUR PRE-SET PERIMETER SITES THAT WOULD SERVE AS LISTENING POSTS FOR ANY SUSPICIOUS MOVEMENT. THE SUN SET AND OUR TEAM WAS IN PLACE. THE NIGHT WAS ALIGHT WITH SOME OF THE LARGEST FIREFLIES WE HAD EVER SEEN. AND THERE WERE THE USUAL 1001 RACCOONS IN EVERY BUSH. SINCE WE WERE IN A NATIONAL FOREST WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CARRY ANY PROTECTIVE WEAPONS, SO WE RELIED ON MANPOWER AND PROXIMITY AS OUR SAFETY NET. IT WASN'T LONG UNTIL THE FIRST STRANGE THING HAPPENED. SOMEONE LOUDLY WALKED DOWN THE TRAIL TOWARD OUR COMMON CAMPSITE. IT WASN'T A PERSON, BUT IT WAS BIPEDAL. WE ALLOWED IT TO COME VERY CLOSE TO A SPOT WHERE TWO INVESTIGATORS WAITED IN THE PITCH DARKNESS. WHEN IT WAS ALMOST UPON THE INVESTIGATORS, WE ALERTED IT TO OUR PRESENCE. IT STOPPED DEAD IN ITS TRACKS. THEN SLOWLY BACKED UP. STEP BY STEP. WE LIT UP THE TREES WITH LIGHTS AND IT RAN. BOUNDING DOWN THE TRAIL INTO THE DEEP PALMETTOS, FLUSHING OUT AT LEAST TEN RACCOONS. THEN IT CIRCLED BEHIND US TO THE NORTH, AND MOVED DEEP INTO THE FOREST. WE SET UP AGAIN TO CATCH IT UPON IT'S RETURN TRIP. HOURS LATER, WE BUNKED DOWN FOR THE NIGHT. ONE INVESTIGATOR WOKE TO TAKE A BATHROOM BREAK AND WALKED TO THE EDGE OF A DEEP SINKHOLE IN THE WOODS. THE SINKHOLE WAS AS BIG AS A HOUSE, AND THERE WAS A TRAIL ALONG THE PERIMETER SWITCHING BACK ON ITSELF UNTIL IT REACHED THE BOTTOM OF THE HOLE FIFTY FEET BELOW. HE PAUSED AT THE RIM OF THE SINKHOLE. AND SOMETHING STIRRED AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PIT. IT BEGAN TO WALK LOUDLY, STEP BY STEP, IN BIPEDAL PATTERN TOWARD THE TRAIL AND SWITCHBACKS. THE FOOTSTEPS SPED UP, AND THE "THING" WAS RUNNING UP THE SWITCHBACK TRAIL OUT OF THE PIT TOWARD THE INVESTOIGATOR. IT CAME AT HIM STEP BY STEP, AND HE RETREATED TO THE TENT AREA. THE FOOTSTEPS WENT INTO THE WOODS TO THE NORTH. NOT MUCH LATER WE HEARD THE FIRST OF THE NOISES THAT WE JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN. THEY WERE LOUD SMACKING SOUNDS. SO LOUD THAT THEY WERE ALMOST UNREAL. AS IF SOMEONE WERE SWINGING A BASEBALL BAT AGAINST THE TRUNK OF A TREE. YOU COULD HEAR THE FRONDS OF THE TREE SHAKING WITH EACH HIT. IT WAS VERY VERY DISTURBING. WE HEARD THE BEATING SOUNDS MANY TIMES AND THEY TERMNATED WITH THE SUNRISE. GHOSTPROS RESEARCHED ANY ANIMALS THAT COULD HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF MAKING THOSE SOUNDS. OUR FINDINGS WERE THAT BLACK BEARS WILL SCRATCH AND RATTLE TREES, BUT DON'T BAT THEM IN THE MANNER WE HEARD. THESE WERE NOT BEAR SMACKS ON A TREE. IT WAS A PIECE OF WOOD BEING BEATEN ON THE TRUNK LIKE A BAT, WITH UNIMAGINABLE FORCE. THE ONLY OTHER ANIMAL THAT MAKES THAT LOUD OF A NOISE IS SURPRISINGLY THIS ONE: A BEAVER! BUT ALAS, THERE ARE NO BEAVERS IN THE OCALA WOODS, AND THERE IS NO WATER NEAR THE FORESTED AREA WE WERE IN EITHER. SO, WHAT WAS IT THAT WAS WALKING AROUND IN THE WOODS WITH US? WHAT WAS IT THAT CHASED OUR INVESTIGATOR? WHAT BEAT THE TREES WITH GREAT FORCE? WE'LL BE FINDING OUT NEXT MONTH AS WE SEND IN ANOTHER TEAM! ** UPDATE** OUR OFFICE RECEIVED A CALL FROM A BOYSCOUT GROUP WHO VISITED THE SAME WOODS AND EXPERIENCED SOMETHING WEIRD! HERE'S A QUOTE OF THEIR REPORT-- " While we sat next to the sinkhole and ate our lunch, we started hearing a strange noise a couple of hundred feet off the trail. It sounded like someone hitting the side of a tree with a walking stick. We left the sinkhole, and the noise seemed to follow us, always a hundred feet or so off the trail. Sometimes it would get closer, sometimes it would fall behind. It followed us up until the tree line opens up into a scrub area for the last mile of the trail." |